


Was it Worth It?

by DaniPayson



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 03:15:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17113394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniPayson/pseuds/DaniPayson
Summary: I wrote this about nine years ago. I wanted to have a post En Ami fic using the theory that Mulder and Scully had already been intimate starting with my previous story Don't Look Any Further. I found this while looking for something else and decided to share it :)





	Was it Worth It?

The spring air was warm and a bit more humid than usual. Not the kind of night air traditionally felt this time of the year, but the Mid Atlantic area was known for being far from normal and why the hell was I thinking about the weather?

Because the lug in the car next to me, the one driving; hadn’t said a word to me in nearly thirty minutes. Thirty-one. Some kind of record. A sad record. He was angry, and I knew why and who at given all I had done in my deception left me with nothing but guilt and feeling like the biggest idiot on the planet for believing a man who I knew in my heart could not be trusted.

Thirty-two minutes, and we were closer to my apartment now. Soon he would drop me off and drive off angry. How long would this continue? To eat away at him, to eat away at the bond we had formed over the last seven years.

Thirty-three minutes. He turned onto my street, pulled up in front of the building, stopped the car, but did not turn off the engine.

There was a part of me that just wanted to get out, scream at him for acting like a child, slam the door and go home. But then there was another part that wanted to cry, and beg forgiveness. Instead I chose a third option and remained in my seat. In a way, I was forcing him to speak to me.

Thirty-four minutes.  
Engine was still running.  
Mulder still refused to speak.

I looked out my window, the streets were empty which was uncommon but in this case I was thankful that we didn’t have an audience.

Thirty-five minutes.  
He sighed.  
At least that’s something. What was he waiting for? The apology I already gave him one hundred times? For me to exit the car so he could go home and continue to sulk like a twelve-year old boy? I was not going to let him off that easily. Too many years had passed, too many lines had been crossed – I wasn’t going to let him off at all.

Thirty-six minutes.  
He turned the engine off.  
That was a start.

We continued to sit in silence. It was well past midnight, but I was far from tired.

Thirty-seven minutes.  
He sighed  
Again.  
Loud enough this time to get my attention, but not loud enough to get me to get out of the car. This was a stand off. A sit off and I intended to win.

Thirty-eight minutes.  
He cleared his throat.  
I still was not moving.

Thirty-nine minutes.

I finally felt his eyes on me and turned from the window, looking directly at him. We were just sitting there, my blue eyes focused deeply on his hazel ones – but in them I saw something I didn’t see before. Pain. Betrayal. For which I was the cause of. There was a lot that man could say with his eyes, and I didn’t need words to know the hurt I had inflicted.

Forty-one minutes.  
I lost a minute in his eyes. Finally it was time for me to sigh and break off the eye contact and with all the sympathy I could muster, I uttered, for the hundred and first time, “I’m sorry.”

“I know.” Mulder replied, his voice so soft it was near a whisper, “But I can’t help still feeling hurt.”

I nodded as well, “I know.”

“I mean if the shoe was on the other foot, you’d seriously put that shoe up my ass.”

I couldn’t help but give a small smile to such a statement. Such a true statement, “I know I would.”

“I just thought, by now, I’d earned your trust, when it came to everything.”

By now…

I looked back up, the eyes had warmed a bit but I could still sense the pain behind them.

“I trust you more than anyone. Even myself sometimes.” I said with my eyes still focused on his.

“Then why?”

“I told you.”

“You told me what you thought I wanted to hear. I want to know the truth.”

“That was the truth. And I feel like the worlds biggest idiot for believing his lies.”

“I believe that part.”

“Then what don’t you believe?”

“That you were fooled by him. You’re the smartest person I know, I can’t believe for a seconds you’d believe anything he said. No matter how convincing.”

“Well, I was drugged.”

“Plausible excuse.” He smiled. Finally.

“Am I forgiven?”

“You never weren’t.”

By instinct alone I leaned over and kissed him sympathetically.

“What was that for?” He asked licking his ever so tantalizing lips.

“Do I need a reason?” 

“No.” Mulder looked around the deserted streets.

“No one’s watching us.” I said understanding his concern.

“I know. But we have to be careful.”

“We have been.”

“So far.”

“Then we’ll go upstairs.”

“Yeah, anyone seeing me going up to your place after midnight is going to naturally assume..”

“Explains a lot of day trips…” I sighed, “You’re being paranoid.”

“I’m being safe.”

“Safe won’t get my clothes off.”

I watched for the reaction.

I enjoyed it.

 

”I’m still mad.” He said in a very true hurtful tone.

I nodded, not sure exactly what to say but all could come up with was, “How mad?”

“Really mad.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Never lie to me again.”

“I didn’t lie.”

“Then what exactly was the family emergency?”

“I had to leave in an emergency…me…family. OK that sounds stupid but it wasn’t a lie lie…I just didn’t want you to worry.”

“But you knew I would and you deceived me.”

“I know.”

“Never deceive me again.”

That was a promise I knew I could keep. Or at least try to. I nodded and he smiled, turning the engine back on.

“What are you doing?” I asked a bit shocked.

“I just feel safest at my place. I don’t know why it is, but when we’re in your apartment I feel like I’m being watched. Call it paranoia, but I do.”

It’s not like I was in a position to disagree, instead I nodded, “Drive fast.”

I cursed those who thought 35MPH was a reasonable speed limit but being stopped and asked why we were speeding was not an option now, so Mulder kept the car at a reasonable 34…34.5. But I was ancy – very ancy. Ever since our relationship had become intimate everything we said or did felt different. And I did get a perverse thrill sneaking into his hotel room in Venice. So much had changed, but not how I felt about him. The love was there, it had been for years, things were just different. A different level of love which, looking back at the last few days, made my deception ever more painful. As Mulder drove 35 on the dot – I thought about everything that son of a bitch said when he attempted to psychoanalyze me. I wasn’t afraid to love Mulder; I loved him with all my heart – what I was afraid of, was losing him.

I looked at my watch as Mulder winded his way through the multiple side streets it took to get to his place, like he could drive it in his sleep. From M Street, to half a mile on the interstate, Fort Myer to Wilson, the roads we both knew so well and as he maneuvered the car through the empty streets I moved my right hand to his thigh, he licked his lips but his eyes stayed on the road like the responsible driver he was. My hand moved from his thigh closer to the center and felt a twitch when I brushed up my palm against his cock. I let out a very small chuckle as I brushed my hand against it again, feeling it twitch under the denim of his jeans. I knew it wasn’t just the friction of the fabric causing the little devil to dance, it was my touch. Only my touch and that gave me such a powerful yet wonderful feeling.

He didn’t respond – with words – so I continued and felt him stiffening under my hand.

“Do you want me to stop?” I asked in the seductive tone I had mastered over the last few months.

He nodded

I rubbed harder

“Dammit Dana.” He only called me by my first name if he was sad, mad or horny and right now I had a feeling he was all three.

“Things would be easier if we lived together.” I couldn’t believe the words came out of my mouth and the little one stopped moving, “Scratch that. I don’t even know why I said that.”

“If we lived together we couldn’t work together.”

“I know. I said to forget it.”

“I can’t now.”

Great. The mood had been killed as he stayed at a steady 35MPH and his cock was doing its best impression of a statue. Hard and lifeless.

“Can we please go back to two minutes ago?” I begged.

“And where was that?” He said turning onto Jefferson Davis Highway. 

I rubbed my hand against the frozen member and waited for a reaction – continued to rub the rough denim feeling as if I was trying to ignite a fire that refused to light and feared I’d get rug burn on my palm.

“I don’t know where you were heading anyway.” Mulder said adjusting himself, “We’re on the highway.”

“In the middle of the night.”

“Cops are everywhere.”

“We’re cops.”

“Who don’t want to get caught doing what you’re suggesting.”

“And what am I suggesting?” I asked getting annoyed with the way he was denying me.

The piece of wood turned back into a real little man and moved, my smile returning with the twitch under my hand.

“This is not you.” Mulder’s voice cracked.

“And there’s a problem with that? Maybe it’s the me you just don’t know. Yet.”

He groaned and turned his head to face me, “Why?”

“Because I want to.”

“There has to be more of reason.”

“Maybe it’s the guilt. Maybe I’m still drugged. I don’t know. I just feel bad. The pain in your eyes is killing me.”

“And you think risking everything we have is worth it?”

“Only if we get caught. And we won’t.”

“I’m not sure an apologetic car hummer could make up for the deception.”

“It would be a start.”

He sighed and adjusted himself yet again, “At least let me pull over. A closed restaurant parking lot or something.”

“Whatever you want.”

About a mile later we were off the highway and there was a closed Pizza Hut near many trees and nothing else. Mulder pulled in behind the restaurant, turned off the engine and locked the doors before sighing and turning to me.

“Can I expect this every time you deceive me?”

“I really didn’t plan on doing it again.” I said unbuckling my seat belt as he did the same.

“Maybe I’ll want you to if this is your punishment.”

In the darkness I could still see some pain in those deep set eyes and wished I could take back the last few days. Tell that smoking son of a bitch to go to hell. But I couldn’t, and I would do all I could to make it up to him and never deceive him again.

Leaning over I kissed him softly as my hands worked on his belt buckle and fly. The kiss deepened as I undid the button of the jeans and slowly moved the zipper down. Mulder’s hands went to my face as our tongues continued to mingle. He moaned into my mouth as my fingers wrapped around his cock. I felt my pussy tingle as my fingers ran up and down the shaft then cursed myself for wearing pants. I wanted him inside of me so badly, since the first time it had become an obsession…an addiction and I was constantly dreaming about what it would be like to wake up next to him every morning. With that thought foremost on my mind I removed my mouth from his and while watching him closely I licked my lips before moving my head down to his lap for what awaited me.

A louder moan escaped his perfect lips as I took his cock in my mouth, taking as much in as I could at first and loving the feel of it inside of me as the head tickled the back of my throat. After slowly removing it, I let my nails dance along the base, tickling his balls as I ran my tongue in circles around the tip, before wrapping my lips around it again and sucking his hard cock like a Popsicle on a hot day.

His hands went to my hair, combing through it in rhythmic fashion as I slowly began to move my head up and down, fucking him with my mouth, tasting every inch of him as my tongue continued to lick and dab at the head. The relaxing motion of his hands would put me to sleep if the fire down below wasn’t keeping me so very much awake. 

As I began to move my head and mouth to a much quicker beat, his fingers began to dig into my scalp and the pain from his nails sent a quiver right down to my already throbbing clit. I pulled his cock from my mouth and ran my tongue from the base to the tip and the quiver I felt from him went straight into me and as I returned it to my needy mouth I actually began to estimate exactly how far from his apartment we were and if I could even make it before I ripped off my pants and begged him to fuck me in the Pizza Hut parking lot.

His cock began to tense and I was thankful solely based on my own needs. As he gripped my head harder I felt the rush as he came into my mouth. It wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last, but as the hot liquid poured into my throat I felt a release come over me without even being touched. I pressed my lips harder against his cock as he finished and felt my own body pulsate along with his. I let go of his cock as my own orgasm came over me, my eyes rolling into the back of my head as my head fell onto his lap. It lasted but a few seconds, but was something I had never before experienced. Opening my eyes I stared at the steering wheel, still it utter shock over what had just come over me.

Swallowing hard I simply sighed, feeling an uncomfortable silence around me as my body began to relax.

“You ok down there?” Mulder asked with genuine concern as his fingers brushed through my hair.

“I had an orgasm without even being touched.” 

“Seriously?”

I nodded and sat up in my seat.

“Well that sucks.” He moped.

“How so?” I asked tucking my hair behind my ears.

“Then you don’t need me.” He pouted.

“Drive fast.” I pleaded.

After zipping up, we put our seatbelts back on and pulled out of the hut.

For the next three miles we didn’t speak, we didn’t move. I was frozen in my own thoughts and emotions and afraid I’d come again just thinking about him inside of me.

After pulling into the parking garage, we exited the car like it was on fire.

“If we stayed at my place we’d be done by now.” I complained as we waited for the elevator.

“You have nosey neighbors.” He replied.

“Yours tried to kill me.”

“Point taken, but he’s gone now, and my new neighbor is deaf. You can scream as loud as you want.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Maybe.”

As we pretty much rushed to his apartment my body felt like it was on fire as he fumbled with his keys. After opening the front do we were confronted with the aftermath of what we had left hours earlier. The computer still on, displaying what all my deception had led to. Nothing.

I had forgotten that we left in a rush, and seeing everything the way we had left it seemed to extinguish the fire in me and in the man who angrily unplugged the computer.

“I’m going to bed.” He said not even looking at me as he tossed his jacket on the couch.

“I’m not leaving.” I protested

“Then sleep on the couch.” He yelled back before walking into his bedroom and slamming the door shut.

By now it was well after one. There was no way I could sleep and there was certainly no way I could go into work acting like nothing had happened.

I went into the bathroom and undressed, folding my clothes and leaving them on the hamper. It was chilly, but I didn’t care. The real chill was in the other room and that one I had to face.

I didn’t bother knocking. Instead I simply opened the bedroom door and walked in, closing it behind me. The moon was full and the light coming in through the blinds of the windows showed me he was not asleep, but obviously did not object to me coming in. His clothes were scattered on the floor in the traditional way and I stopped myself from picking them up as I made my way to the bed, climbing onto the other side. Mulder turned over and said nothing.

“Mulder.” I said, my voice cracking as I sat on my knees looking down at him.

No reply.

“How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?”

Turning over he looked up at me, his eyes burning a hole into my soul, “You don’t get it do you?”

“I guess I don’t.”

”I love you.”

My heart stopped.  
I had no reply.  
Because right now saying it in return wouldn’t seem sincere. All I could do was look down at my bare lap.

“I guess I always have.” He continued, “And I thought you felt the same way. But going off with that psychotic son of a bitch made me feel differently.”

“So you’re never going to forgive me.” I said more as a statement than a question.

“It’s not about forgiveness, it’s about trust. A level of trust we have to have if this is going to work.”

I nodded and looked back at him, “I want this to work.”

“Then the secrets have to stop. Now.”

I nodded again.

“I’m serious here. No more. No matter what the consequences. We’re not just partners anymore Dana. Sometimes I wonder if that’s ever all we were.”

I nodded again.

“No more road trips with sociopaths.” Mulder honestly smiled and I felt safe enough to do the same as I shook my head.

“Did you fuck him?” He asked, his voice turning cold.

The smile I had shown quickly faded at the accusation, “WHAT?” I nearly yelped.

“Did you fuck him?”

He actually repeated it.

“NO!” I screamed in return.

He nodded and looked away, “Would you?”

Now I felt the urge to flee, even if it meant running naked through the streets of Northern Virginia just to get away from such an image. Such a blatant accusation made me ill. “I can’t believe you asked me that!” I yelled getting out of the bed and walking to the door, but just as I opened it he was behind me slamming it shut.

“Where are you going?” Mulder breathed against me.

“Home.” I said to the wood before me, “You’re acting insane.”

“I haven’t slept in days.” He said running his fingers down my back, “Every time I closed my eyes I pictured his hands on you.” He said as his hands found his way to my ass “Touching you the way I touch you.”

“I would never let him.” I said placing my palms against the door as I felt his breath against my neck.

“Him, or anyone?”

“Only you.” I whispered closing my eyes as his tongue brushed against the back of my neck then moved down my spine to my tail bone where I felt his hands grip my waist.

“Only me?” He said before cupping my pussy with one hand as he held onto my waist with the other.

I moaned against his hand as I tried to grip the wood in front of me.

“I didn’t hear a reply.” He said, his fingers brushing across my clit.

“Only you.” I moaned again against the door.

“Forever?” He continued to question and tease.

“Forever.” I sighed letting my head fall against the door as he inserted a finger inside of me.

I felt the finger withdraw and his lips return to my neck, kissing the back of it while slowly nibbling, his hands returned to my waist and he turned my body to face his.

Even in the dark I could see into his eyes and the pain that remained. I sighed and closed my eyes, unable to bear another moment of that ache in his.

“I would lie awake at night.” He began again as his hands moved down the front of my body, “Fearing you had been taken from me.” He began to run his delicate tongue down as well, starting at my neck and moving down to my breasts while he took his time tasting, savoring each mound, each taut nipple, “That I would never again be able to touch you, feel you, love you…”

I moaned at his words and his actions as this dance continued 

“Knowing that you were the only woman I ever wanted. That no one could ever take your place. That no skin would be as soft, taste so sweet, feel so wonderful against my own.”

I had no words, not that I could speak anyway as his tongue moved down, causing ripples throughout my body making it hard to stand as his tongue reached my clit and gently teased it. My knees buckled and he caught me, his hands gripping my ass as he pushed me back up against the door then one by one brought my legs over his shoulders.

Mulder stopped his seductive lecture as he tongue began to dance around my clit, his stubble of a day without shaving tickling my lips. My hands moved to his head as his tongue continued to taste every part of my wanting pussy. His fingers digging into my ass as my thighs pressed harder against his head. I didn’t fear falling, I didn’t fear much right now as his tongue licked my pussy like it had never been licked before.

His hands moved to the back of my thighs as he spread my legs wider, pushing me harder against the door as his tongue traveled further, circling along my inner thighs before returning to my tender clit. More focused now he took hold of it between his teeth and bit down, not hard but enough to cause a scream I had never before heard come out of my mouth as I pushed my pussy harder against him now screaming for him to fuck me.

That must have been what he wanted because his grip on my thighs tightened as he slid me up against the door before wrapping my legs around his back. Instantly I locked my ankles and as I felt his cock enter me I dug my heels into his ass. He groaned, I groaned, and moved my hands to his neck as his head moved to my neck, biting into me and causing yet another week of turtlenecks I still wasn’t very comfortable wearing. With each thrust he bit harder, and with each bite I dug my nails deeper into his neck, not really caring if either of us drew blood but realizing as well this situation was not ideal.

“Fuck!” I screamed as he thrust and bit again.

Removing his head from my neck he looked down at me, “What?”

I gripped harder onto his neck and motioned towards the bed, “Bed.” I said unable to say any word with more than one syllable.

“You’re not going to run away again.” He said pushing his cock deeper inside.

“I’m not that stupid.” I said gripping my muscles around his cock.

His smile returned as he tightened his hands on my ass and turned around carrying me to the bed and placing me on my back. I backed up a bit and he withdrew from me as I moved up on the bed placing my body right in the middle of it. Mulder climbed back on to the bed as I grabbed his pillow and placed it under my head. My eyes never leaving his as I spread my legs begging him to continue what he started.

Bracing his arms on either side of me he looked down into my eyes, and then tilted his head a bit, “You know…” he said in a slow murmur, “You didn’t say it back.”

I knew what he meant  
What he didn’t know was how much I was afraid to say it.  
Now. Outloud.  
We had been through so much…together…why was I so damn afraid to say it?  
Did saying it mean I would lose him?  
Did saying it out loud mean I couldn’t live without him?  
All this was true  
But I lacked the courage.

His eyes.  
I don’t know how long I was looking into them. The pain that remained, I was so focused on their sadness that before I knew it…

“I love you.” Escaped my lips.

Before my eyes, the pain vanished. He blinked. He smiled. His lips returned to mine as he slowly entered me again. His motions so less angry, each thrust gentler than the one before it. I wrapped my arms around his back as his tongue delicately played with mine, twirling in circles around each other in their own little game. 

Removing his mouth from mine Mulder sat up and took my hands in his, “I want you on top.” He said before turning and lying down on his back.

It wasn’t anything new, but to stop in the middle was out of character for this man as he rested his head on his pillow and looked up at me. I took a quick glance at the clock and then cursed myself for doing so. I was defiantly calling in sick tomorrow. Er. Today.

Straddling him as he instructed I slowly eased his cock inside of me as his hands moved to my waist guiding my body up and down as I began to ride him. The one position where our extreme height difference was not a problem.

I ran my hands up and down his firm abdomen as my ride continued, as my hips moved in a circular motion, as his hands moved up to my breasts pinching my nipples as I did the same to his. I began to move faster and his hands returned to my waist. Stopping me.

This was getting insane.

“Rub your clit.” He growled.

I felt like I was in the middle of some really badly directed porn movie I’d probably find stashed under his bed if he ever gave me permission to clean his place. I narrowed my eyes at him, “What?” I questioned.

“You heard me.”

“You do it.” I growled back.

“I want to watch you.” Mulder replied running his hands up and down my sides, “I want to watch you touch yourself.”

I groaned in annoyance and took my hands in his, intertwining his fingers as I lowered myself to face him, “I’m tired.”

“I’m betrayed.”

“Fuck you.”

“Aren’t you?”

I growled again and sat back up tightening my grip on his hands, as I began to slide up and down his cock. Again. “Do you have some crappy porn memorized or something?” I groaned not letting go of his hands.

“That’s insulting.” Mulder snapped back, “I only want to watch you now.”

“I guess that should be a compliment.” I returned, arching my back as I held onto his hands.

“It is.” He replied.

I groaned again and arched further, catching a glimpse of myself in that damn mirror above the bed he kept claiming appeared out of nowhere, but every time I saw myself with him, it turned me on…more…even now in the moonlight, only seeing bits and pieces, my arched back, my nipples hard, I felt sexy in a way I had never felt before. As if in a trance I let go of his hands and moved them to my breasts, continuing to ride up and down his shaft I watched my reflection as I kneaded my breasts, pinched my nipples, the gasps that emitted from my mouth looked even sexier from above. Slowly I moved my hands down, his were back on my waist and I grabbed hold of his right with my left, intertwining our fingers again as my right hand moved to my clit. My eyes fixated on my reflection I began to rub it slowly like I did when I was alone, but never with my eyes open, never with anyone watching. My back arched further, my nails dug into his hand as I began to rub faster, ride him harder, arch further just to get a better look at myself as my pussy began to tighten around him and I stopped my hips, returning my eyes to his and continuing to pleasure myself with him deep inside of me. Our eyes locked as I let go of his fingers, letting his soft hands return to my waist as my own circles around my clit continued. I refused to close my eyes, as I felt myself coming, tightening against his cock, watching him jerk at the sensation knowing that he too had reached the point, but we didn’t blink… we didn’t moan…we didn’t scream. I exhaled deeply as I came, my back arching slightly as his hands held me tight. I honestly didn’t know why I didn’t let myself scream in pleasure, as it rippled from my toes to my brow, I just knew in this instant I couldn’t take my eyes off of his….and he too, was fixated on me. After the sensations passed I sat there, unable to move, unable to speak but at least now I could …blink. I swallowed and exhaled again. Mulder’s hands remained on my waist as he slowly sat up. Still inside me he blinked as well and smiled.

“So…” He said before clearing his throat, “Was it worth it?”

“Was what worth it?” I asked placing my hands on his shoulders.

“The lying, the deceiving.”

I shook my head, “No.”

“It was for me.” He said licking his lips.

Now I was the confused one, “What?”

“It made me realize how much you mean to me.” He said softly turning and placing me on my back and pulling the covers over my bare body.

Still confused I shook my head and brought the sheet to my neck, “Then why did you put me through so much hell?”

“To see if the feelings were mutual.” Mulder replied getting under the covers and lying down, turning on his side to face me.

Doing the same I braced my head on my hand, “You could have just said something.”

“What’s the fun in that?”

I bit my lip and sighed heavily, “So if I had gotten out of the car, went into my apartment.”

He shrugged, “I would have followed you.”

“You’re an asshole.”

Mulder sighed and turned onto his back, looking up, “No I’m not.”

“You’ve put me through hell all night, was that all an act?”

He shook his head, “No.” then turned to me again, “None of it.”

I had no words. I was still feeling guilty but now could add angry and confused to the pot as well, “Where do we go from here?” 

He shrugged and glanced at the clock, revealing the ungodly hour of 2:14AM. “Sleep.”

“After that.”

He faced me again, “Where we go every day. But not today. I’m tired.”

“If we both don’t show up…you know how it will look.”

“Anyone with half a brain already knows what’s going on. Especially Skinner.”

“Then why hasn’t he said anything?”

“Because he knows splitting us up would only hurt the bureau. As long as we stay safe we’re ok.”

“Sneaking around.”

“I hate it as much as you do, but rules is rules. No consorting.” Mulder said like he was reading it from a book. Bad grammar and all.

“I think we skipped over consorting years ago.”

“True.” 

I turned and looked up at the mirror, not so easy to see now, “We can’t sneak around forever.”

“No, but as long as we have to.”

“As long as we have to.” I repeated.

“Who knows.” He snickered, “We could get lucky and be forced to handle some stakeout at a cheap motel.”

“We’re never that lucky.” I said sarcastically.

“You never know.” He laughed, “We almost always draw the short stick. Kersh has had it in for me since day one.” The laughing stopped as he turned to me, “He just punishes you to hurt me.”

“I know.” I said softly, “it's ok.”

Mulder yawned and turned over on his side, facing me, “Just do me a favor and don’t leave before the sun comes up. Again.”

“I won’t.”

“I hate when you do that.”

I nodded and lay down, facing him as well, “It’s safer.”

“I know. But I still hate it.” He reached out and took my hand in his, squeezing it tight before closing his eyes.

I’m not sure exactly how long I watched him before my eyes closed as well. It could have been two minutes, it could have been two hours, all I knew was when my eyes opened the sun was shining and our hands were still connected.

Was it worth it?  
In the end  
It always was.


End file.
